Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Origin of God (and his death)

Behold! i have understood the problem now. Behold! i will write my story now. the story of the birth and death of God. the story of the afterworld, the otherworld. all these three years of engineering i was searching for my problem. and i have found it now. not one but there were two, but the one is the source of other. yes, the real is the source of virtual, and its the story of how the virtual became real.
I won't tell you the first death of god. yes, in me, god died twice. but i will start from the first birth of him. because his first death was sacred...a thousand times sacred than his zeroeth birth.
The reason of first birth of god was my cowardice, my lack of courage to face society, to fight against society in innocence. they combined when the soil was fertile and god was born. and how did the soil became fertile? ah! i can give reasons but in reality the seeds were always there. in my golden times also the seeds were there. the seeds were sown by my lack of courage and and my fear of future. and all other outer reasons were just fertilizers which increased the pace of growth of god.
and i started sinking down and down in those fears. it was a spiral downward. hell were those days. but this i want to say: i was true to the earth even in those days. i never left the earth and seek otherworld. i was still searching for solutions only in science and psychology. i faced that downgoing face to face.
And then came that fateful day. i don't know what would had happened of me had that thing not had happened. i amuse myself imagining possibilities. would i had become a scientist? or a follower of self -help books? or a positive thinker!? but none is the case because fate had otherwise. that day Ashish introduced me to OSHO. Osho, ah! how can i forgive him? and in doing so, how can i forgive myself!? my friends, my downgoing was not the direct reason of the birth of god. it was only preparing soil. the direct sower of seeds of god into me was Osho. he placed in my heart the otherworld. he made me a dreamer and took me away from the earth, my beautiful earth. he caught me in my doomdays and took me away. ah! how good and tempting it feels na to throw away the blames on someone else! but to whom am i lying? no it wasn't his fault. he was an all-rounder. his intelligence was universal. how could he left so many other troubling souls just to save me? his nets were largest, his mission the broadest. i was just caught in one of them, and in my attempt to understand the whole net i unknowingly, subtly gave birth to god. (you can guess by now what i mean by god. its faith in otherworld).
But the story is not complete yet. that which is born has to die too. and can you guess who killed him, the god? Osho's favorite author himself - Friedrich Nietzsche. when he proclaimed "God is Dead" this proclaimation was enough to kill him. why?because he was virtual, mental. i created him in my mind through ideas. thus ideas can kill him too. he was never real. you know what is real in all this? its fear.
remain true to the earth. seek, chase, pursue only that what is real. remain true to the man, remain true to yourself. that's the doctrine of Nietzsche.
(god isn't dead yet. but i believe he will, because i have got the idea. and an idea can kill another idea).
Behold! i will no longer be an escapist. behold! i will face the earth again, i will face my face again.

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