Nietzsche asked, "Do you want to be an ebb in this great tide?" He is talking about the tide of evolution. Of how a creature struggles and works towards creating something better than itself. But what's great about this tide? It's just a play of nature. A nature with infinite resources and infinite time. What does it lack? It has created countless worlds like ours. So nature doesn't need it. Now let's talk about ourselves. Humans need it, for themselves. And that's the source, the basis of Nietzsche's conviction. "I love mankind", Zarathustra said. It was his love for humans that gave him the basis, the ground to stand on. It's the identity thing. Whatever we identify with, we work for that. You identify as Indian, you work for betterment of India. You identify as Hindu, you work for and according to your religion. You identify as Mumbaikar, you develop hate for Biharis. You identify as human, you develop a philosophy for the betterment of mankind. But I don't identify as any of that, I don't get into this game. I don't like giving labels to myself. I am just a being.
So, what's great about that tide? It's a great as any of other nature's plays. The only other way I can think about this is: it's my desire. I created this tide in my past because I wanted it. What was I seeking back then? I don't know. But my present can't find a basis to be part of this tide. It was a desire. It is desires that create worlds, Buddha as well as Walter Russell said that. But in current human form, desire needs reason as well, else desire can't move forward. And I find no reason to continue this tide. It's not great for me. For what purpose I give my effort, my energy in continuation of tide? What are the prospects, what are the results? There is no worthwhile result.
If it's all about me, all that matters is me and my desire, then I would rather not continue the desire, I would rather not continue the tide. I don't find it worth the effort it takes.
Why is there urge in me to "do something"? I think I should accept the non-worthiness, the meaninglessness of outside doings instead of struggling against it. By now for fact that there is nothing worth doing in the outside world. Nothing equals the effort it takes. The active energy of my mind is only spent on useless things. I know it, and that's why I either seek them or when I do one of them out of urge or something I only feel disappointed later on.
