Monday, 20 November 2017

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Life and Purpose

Great video. It seems to reveal the nature of life and humans in a very clear way. He says that life has a purpose, intrinsically. We tend to adopt nihilistic views when we interfere with life's natural processes. And that adoption itself interferes with life's natural processes. It is a form of perversion. His talk on how adults interact with child and what happens in love are very clear and true. That's what really happens. When we fall in love, a new window seems to open in our life. We see a purpose. We get a clear view of great life ahead. And it opens us up. It removes all self imposed barriers and burdens we had on our shoulder and which clouded our thought process, which were imposed because of a closed view on life, because of whatever philosophy or complex we had enclosed ourselves into for various reasons. 

When we have a purpose, it's a great thing, and a very important thing. That purpose doesn't have to be tangible and clearly defined. It is just the movement and striving towards something, movement and striving forward. 

He also talks about reality. So it's not like we should choose this way of life because it's beneficial. It's not like we are choosing it over the other alternative that is nihilism, which science reveals. Maybe this is reality, the only truth. It can't exist without us, without a purpose. It makes sense.

Thursday, 29 August 2013

Beyond Choice

Sorry, I haven't posted anything since long time. Its not that I haven't written anything. there are many posts pending in draft. I just don't feel like publishing them. Why? because when I reread them i find them as full of lies. They aren't really "my" thoughts. or to be more precise, they are results of some very temporary states of mind. i change too quickly; so much so that I no longer know what my fundamental belief system is. whatever I think I also am aware of its opposite, and thus begins an infinite regression of thoughts, leading nowhere.
Now, what to write? not that I lack material to write, the problem is just opposite - too many things, but none with a solid basis. I want to write, but just don't know what!

I think I would like to share some realizations I am having since past some time. Choosing one over the other is not going to give you peace. Truth is neither on the left side nor on right. all choices are biased, all choices are corrupted. choice, by its very nature, is corrupted. so there remains no point in thinking that left is more better or good than right; as long as you choose between them its bound to won't get the desired result (by result i mean things like peace, happiness, truth etc.). This is one of the fundamental things I have learnt from past experiences.
Truth lies somewhere inbetween, through a, kind of, smooth, seamless path that pierces through this duality of choice and goes beyond it. a state where these choices don't matter. a state where you are not concerned with results. ofcourse results are going to make effect on you, yet they don't matter. you see them with a dispassionate eye, or atmost, with compassion. I don't know how to define it, how to make it more clear, but I have felt that state, experienced it many times. I used to experience it in my school days also and even now it occasionally occurs, mostly while travelling in bus,.. and all doubts seem to clear up. Then i try to explore it more and more because I know its very temporary state and the moment I enter my house and say the first words to some family member it will be gone. it used to happen then, it happens now. So i try to explore it as long as it remains so that i may try to induce it at home too. But you know there hasn't been much success. I have been able to recognize some its properties, its characteristics, one of which i have written above. but that doesn't change anything. one hour of home environment is enough to completely forget it and return to same old behavior. Then even if I try to I can't produce even a momentary glimpse of it...even the memory of that experience becomes corrupted. so engrossed and entangled I get into the web of choices. you can imagine the impenetrability of this web by the fact that choosing to become choiceless is also a choice! its something transcendental, something that happens but you can't do it.

Well that's it. maybe i will write more about it later...


Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Yesterday Truths

Mind has a tendency to fabricate things. It can create a mountain out of a mole. Freud has shown that out of a simplest desire that might have occurred during the day, the mind can fabricate a whole reasonable, full-fledged dream during night. now, if one has occurred such a dream and he sets out to understand, interpret or decode it, probably he won't be able to do so. he won't be able to come to conclusion that the real root of the dream was that small desire. 
And I think that's how our life has become also. what we call human nature, human tendencies, human truths are results of the past situations our minds have gone through. this includes both childhood upbringing and evolutionary history. that's common, i know. its probably called evolutionary psychology. But what I want to say is that what philosophers and psychologists and spiritualists tries to discover through rigorous thinking and practice can be extracted and reached to through this relatively simple method. They discovers a human truth and makes it feel like something sacred and very important for future, although in reality there is nothing divine in can simply be the result of some practical situation our ancestors faced in finding food. that tendency is now, when food is easily available, buried into our unconscious and is giving birth to and controlling our passions and thoughts. humanity is the result of its past. there is nothing divine about it, nothing at all. we have repressed too much in the past. our unconscious is very large. this mind, this clever, creative, always-trying-to-be-reasonable mind has mixed up and matched up every unconscious attribute in order to make sense and that grand story fabricated by it now is called human nature. 
Now, Psychoanalysis, as freud said, means making the unconscious conscious. it wants to bring out the root of trouble i.e. that memory. so, can the same method be applied for realizing the truth of life and universe also?
maybe Meditation, which they call the way to truth, is this same method. or maybe not. but one thing is sure: what has been regarded sacred and holy by religions isn't so holy objectively...and not the truth for sure.

We are what we were.
Yesterday's truths are today's living lies.

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Origin of God (and his death)

Behold! i have understood the problem now. Behold! i will write my story now. the story of the birth and death of God. the story of the afterworld, the otherworld. all these three years of engineering i was searching for my problem. and i have found it now. not one but there were two, but the one is the source of other. yes, the real is the source of virtual, and its the story of how the virtual became real.
I won't tell you the first death of god. yes, in me, god died twice. but i will start from the first birth of him. because his first death was sacred...a thousand times sacred than his zeroeth birth.
The reason of first birth of god was my cowardice, my lack of courage to face society, to fight against society in innocence. they combined when the soil was fertile and god was born. and how did the soil became fertile? ah! i can give reasons but in reality the seeds were always there. in my golden times also the seeds were there. the seeds were sown by my lack of courage and and my fear of future. and all other outer reasons were just fertilizers which increased the pace of growth of god.
and i started sinking down and down in those fears. it was a spiral downward. hell were those days. but this i want to say: i was true to the earth even in those days. i never left the earth and seek otherworld. i was still searching for solutions only in science and psychology. i faced that downgoing face to face.
And then came that fateful day. i don't know what would had happened of me had that thing not had happened. i amuse myself imagining possibilities. would i had become a scientist? or a follower of self -help books? or a positive thinker!? but none is the case because fate had otherwise. that day Ashish introduced me to OSHO. Osho, ah! how can i forgive him? and in doing so, how can i forgive myself!? my friends, my downgoing was not the direct reason of the birth of god. it was only preparing soil. the direct sower of seeds of god into me was Osho. he placed in my heart the otherworld. he made me a dreamer and took me away from the earth, my beautiful earth. he caught me in my doomdays and took me away. ah! how good and tempting it feels na to throw away the blames on someone else! but to whom am i lying? no it wasn't his fault. he was an all-rounder. his intelligence was universal. how could he left so many other troubling souls just to save me? his nets were largest, his mission the broadest. i was just caught in one of them, and in my attempt to understand the whole net i unknowingly, subtly gave birth to god. (you can guess by now what i mean by god. its faith in otherworld).
But the story is not complete yet. that which is born has to die too. and can you guess who killed him, the god? Osho's favorite author himself - Friedrich Nietzsche. when he proclaimed "God is Dead" this proclaimation was enough to kill him. why?because he was virtual, mental. i created him in my mind through ideas. thus ideas can kill him too. he was never real. you know what is real in all this? its fear.
remain true to the earth. seek, chase, pursue only that what is real. remain true to the man, remain true to yourself. that's the doctrine of Nietzsche.
(god isn't dead yet. but i believe he will, because i have got the idea. and an idea can kill another idea).
Behold! i will no longer be an escapist. behold! i will face the earth again, i will face my face again.

Sunday, 12 May 2013

The Tell-Tale Brain


I watch this COSMOS series by Carl Sagan whenever I am free and in some curious mood. yesterday I was watching its episode on 'The persistence of memory'. That made me wonder, again, on how our brain works, what is this self, and how, through it, science and spirituality are connected.
He showed the anatomical structure of brain and its evolution and its various parts, and showed what function is associated with each part. Apart from Cerebral cortex other parts of our brain are quite the same as brains of reptiles or lower mammals. He showed how they are associated with tendencies like aggressiveness, territoriality, jealousy etc. so these features are quite deeply ingrained in us. they follow it, so do we. now I wondered what separates us from them. Carl Sagan said its the 'Thought' that's characteristic to us and its produced by cerebral cortex which stores memory, synthesize and analyse it and finally produce something called thought from it.
But I wonder what is thought. in other animals, whatever comes in their brain they immediately act upon it. if due to some outer sensation their part of brain producing aggression activates, then their body will immediately react accordingly i.e. aggressively. they cannot 'think' over this aggressiveness they are feeling; they must act under it...they are bound to act; they are slaves of their brain. But what happens in us? aren't we too slaves? suppose our brain also produce same aggressiveness due to same outer sensation. Now what will we do? In us this aggressive feeling will act on the memory cells of cerebral cortex and those cells which are related to current outer sensation will activate. then these activated cells will be "analysed" by elaborate network of cerebral cortex and this analysis manifests itself as a thought. But then what? who will "see" this thought and act on it? where am "I" in this scene? I wonder what is self. this question must be answered if i am to reach anywhere. A thought is a kind of second action. body is no longer the only way to act now. that aggressiveness  indeed has done its part by producing a thought. its like we are divided into two selfs now - the body and the thought. or you can say that thought is preliminary to body, a kind of its assistant.
But that's not the answer. what is the self that is experiencing that thought, that analysis. who is judging that thought and drawing out future plans based on it. Is it all brains doing? its too complicated, too interconnected. why will brain do so? why, and more importantly how, will it add an extra step in its working i.e. a judger, a self? why don't it simply do the analysis and act accordingly? why bring a judger, a future planner? can't it plan future itself based on that analysis? or do the self simply easy up its task in doing so? you know, I do have its answer but I somehow don't want to accept that (don't know why). V.S. Ramachandran did indeed pointed out in 'the tell-tale brain' that self is an illusion produced by brain so that it can work smoothly. its a kind of imaginary focal point of all the doings of brain. self thinks it is doing everything although in reality brain is doing them independently. but i don't accept it by heart somehow. my own self don't allow me to perhaps :-P. I must work it out before i can step any further or draw out any conclusion.
to be continued....