Saturday, 15 December 2012

Poem of Meditation

Great things
happens in a way you never expect.
somewhere from nowhere
comes everything.
You try & try
but nothing happens,
because you try by mind.
and when it happens
its divine.
you see the foolishness of your trying
all the errors in your trying
and the reasons of non-working of trying.

Was reading Osho since long time
& trying to apply what he said
trying to "do" witnessing.
but it didn't happen
not at all.
correcting here and there,
but no, a big NO.

today, out of nowhere..
read an upanishad
and just after finishing it
trying to contemplate it
and draw out the conclusions
I was lost............
lost somewhere
lost in myself.
and perhaps lost in that which i was trying & trying earlier.
so childishly i was trying, i realized
so wrongly
so through mind.
and today,
it happened from inside.
i could easily see it
that it is happening through inside, not through mind.
& i was still contemplating that upanishad,
seeing the wrongness of my trying,
understanding what Osho meant,
& experiencing this unique, utterly unique experience,
all at the same time.

What was it?
perhaps this is what Osho calls meditation
& being at centre.
i was at my centre,
or atleast i was at a deeper level than mind.
i was experiencing great various feeling going through my head
sometimes rising, sometimes falling.
its still there.

I don't know if it is temporary or permanent
If i am changed temporarily or permanently
If tomorrow i will be the same person or a different person.
how hopely i hope it to be permanent
how lovingly i hope this,
To be atleast a little up from everyday misery
to go above this jewish mind, cunning, selfish mind
to go above fears of future
to go above guilts
to go above bondages of love of family.
i hope it is permanent
but even if it is temporary
i have learnt many things from it now:
that meditating through same mind is not meditating at all.
it will never succeed
because it is not even nearabout the real meditation.
real meditation is when you are at a deeper level than mind
when you are towards centre
when "trying" to witness is not there
because all trying is of mind.
Just sit, close eyes, & dive deep within your being
forget all about "ways" of meditation
dive absolutely suddenly
there are no levels of diving
dive immediately.
don't let mind decide how to witness, what to witness
don't think of anything at all
sit, close eyes and dive deep.
when you are at centre, not mind
you will yourself know it.
otherwise always remember you are at mind.

[ dated:26-10-2012
I actually wrote it all in my diary just after that experience, so that i don't completely forget it & may recall atleast the glimpses of it later in "normal" life. first ofcourse i intended to write in normal way, but found that utterly powerless. so i switched to my old friend - poetry. ]

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