Monday, 5 November 2012

Circle Of Life - Update

I would like to add some of my recent observations into 'Circle of life' post.
I was wondering why we are in a different mood each day. I mean when we (wherever i use 'we' consider it more 'I' than 'we', b'coz i observed it with myself only) get up in the morning it is like  a new day, a new feeling flows within us, a new mood. and its not always same. it keeps changing with mornings. sometimes we have same mood every morning for a cluster of days and sometimes it changes everyday.
Here I would like to add a recent experience of mine because that will make you understand what i actually want to say.
I have been reading Osho essentially since last 6  months. He talks about Meditation. Actually his core teaching is just meditation, i think. All else is circling around it. So i too started trying it. but couldn't really. i used to get tired; it used to more strain mind than calming it. I wasn't getting it, in short. He calls it a 'knack' to get what meditation is. But some time back, i had experienced something which i may really call meditation, b'coz it matched almost all characteristics Osho talks about of meditation. It was a VERY strange experience, something i had never experienced before. All trivial bodily pains disappeared, and my mind, or I, was on some 'other plane' else to define it i don't know b'coz i had never felt something like that before. before that, my back was etching, mosquitoes were irritating me...but during that all such things became unimportant. as if i am something else from the body.
anyways, after that experience i had got some idea what meditation is like. so i started to try it again and again how to get it again...i.e. how to become aware, b'coz meditation is nothing  but awareness (as Osho defines it); How to become aware of body and mind; how to feel separated from these two things and watch them. But now i comes to my point. I felt that I am not the same everyday, because someday i used to feel like that very easily, almost without effort and someday only frustrations was where i used to end even after much trying and efforting. Actually most of the days fall into second case with only some rare days into the first (like today). And second case too had many levels. someday i won't even try even if thought of it comes in mind, someday i would try only half-heartily, and someday i would try with much effort but to no result. Its not that i would try half-heartily because i wanted to; even if i wanted to give it full try it wouldn't come to be full from inside used to prove only half outside.
What i want to say is that everyday we are different. or our states of mind are different. So it seems that the circle of life which i talked about 2 posts earlier applies to everyday level too. That on larger level produces more deeper impact and its time period is more. and this one of smaller level produces relatively smaller impacts of shorter duration. And applying Maths, it may be working on many more larger and smaller levels. Maybe the difference of ours in day and night may also be counted, but i won't apply that b'coz that may also be because of tiredness of whole day work too.
I was also wondering about on what factor these cycles depend. Does it has something to do with grah - planets i.e. astrology? Although I personally don't believe such things, but currently there is no other explanation.

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