Poem of Meditation

Great things
happens in a way you never expect.
somewhere from nowhere
comes everything.
You try & try
but nothing happens,
because you try by mind.
and when it happens
its divine.
you see the foolishness of your trying
all the errors in your trying
and the reasons of non-working of trying.

Was reading Osho since long time
& trying to apply what he said
trying to "do" witnessing.
but it didn't happen
not at all.
correcting here and there,
but no, a big NO.

today, out of nowhere..
read an upanishad
and just after finishing it
trying to contemplate it
and draw out the conclusions
I was lost............
lost somewhere
lost in myself.
and perhaps lost in that which i was trying & trying earlier.
so childishly i was trying, i realized
so wrongly
so through mind.
and today,
it happened from inside.
i could easily see it
that it is happening through inside, not through mind.
& i was still contemplating that upanishad,
seeing the wrongness of my trying,
understanding what Osho meant,
& experiencing this unique, utterly unique experience,
all at the same time.

What was it?
perhaps this is what Osho calls meditation
& being at centre.
i was at my centre,
or atleast i was at a deeper level than mind.
i was experiencing great various feeling going through my head
sometimes rising, sometimes falling.
its still there.

I don't know if it is temporary or permanent
If i am changed temporarily or permanently
If tomorrow i will be the same person or a different person.
how hopely i hope it to be permanent
how lovingly i hope this,
To be atleast a little up from everyday misery
to go above this jewish mind, cunning, selfish mind
to go above fears of future
to go above guilts
to go above bondages of love of family.
i hope it is permanent
but even if it is temporary
i have learnt many things from it now:
that meditating through same mind is not meditating at all.
it will never succeed
because it is not even nearabout the real meditation.
real meditation is when you are at a deeper level than mind
when you are towards centre
when "trying" to witness is not there
because all trying is of mind.
Just sit, close eyes, & dive deep within your being
forget all about "ways" of meditation
dive absolutely suddenly
there are no levels of diving
dive immediately.
don't let mind decide how to witness, what to witness
don't think of anything at all
sit, close eyes and dive deep.
when you are at centre, not mind
you will yourself know it.
otherwise always remember you are at mind.



[ dated:26-10-2012
I actually wrote it all in my diary just after that experience, so that i don't completely forget it & may recall atleast the glimpses of it later in "normal" life. first ofcourse i intended to write in normal way, but found that utterly powerless. so i switched to my old friend - poetry. ]

Circle Of Life - Update

I would like to add some of my recent observations into 'Circle of life' post.
I was wondering why we are in a different mood each day. I mean when we (wherever i use 'we' consider it more 'I' than 'we', b'coz i observed it with myself only) get up in the morning it is like  a new day, a new feeling flows within us, a new mood. and its not always same. it keeps changing with mornings. sometimes we have same mood every morning for a cluster of days and sometimes it changes everyday.
Here I would like to add a recent experience of mine because that will make you understand what i actually want to say.
I have been reading Osho essentially since last 6  months. He talks about Meditation. Actually his core teaching is just meditation, i think. All else is circling around it. So i too started trying it. but couldn't really. i used to get tired; it used to more strain mind than calming it. I wasn't getting it, in short. He calls it a 'knack' to get what meditation is. But some time back, i had experienced something which i may really call meditation, b'coz it matched almost all characteristics Osho talks about of meditation. It was a VERY strange experience, something i had never experienced before. All trivial bodily pains disappeared, and my mind, or I, was on some 'other plane'...how else to define it i don't know b'coz i had never felt something like that before. before that, my back was etching, mosquitoes were irritating me...but during that all such things became unimportant. as if i am something else from the body.
anyways, after that experience i had got some idea what meditation is like. so i started to try it again and again how to get it again...i.e. how to become aware, b'coz meditation is nothing  but awareness (as Osho defines it); How to become aware of body and mind; how to feel separated from these two things and watch them. But now i comes to my point. I felt that I am not the same everyday, because someday i used to feel like that very easily, almost without effort and someday only frustrations was where i used to end even after much trying and efforting. Actually most of the days fall into second case with only some rare days into the first (like today). And second case too had many levels. someday i won't even try even if thought of it comes in mind, someday i would try only half-heartily, and someday i would try with much effort but to no result. Its not that i would try half-heartily because i wanted to; even if i wanted to give it full try it wouldn't come to be full...my full from inside used to prove only half outside.
What i want to say is that everyday we are different. or our states of mind are different. So it seems that the circle of life which i talked about 2 posts earlier applies to everyday level too. That on larger level produces more deeper impact and its time period is more. and this one of smaller level produces relatively smaller impacts of shorter duration. And applying Maths, it may be working on many more larger and smaller levels. Maybe the difference of ours in day and night may also be counted, but i won't apply that b'coz that may also be because of tiredness of whole day work too.
I was also wondering about on what factor these cycles depend. Does it has something to do with grah - planets i.e. astrology? Although I personally don't believe such things, but currently there is no other explanation.

What The *Bleep* Do We Know?

A few updates I today thought of in my universe theory. And this time it didn't came out of the blues; I had to work it out. But that too isn't entirely true. the original source was still outside. Actually today I was watching a science documentary - 'What the bleep do we know?' and its still only half watched, thanks to the Aircel downloading speed. But it was awesome. Exactly something like my own theory i.e. connection of quantum theory with spirituality.
tell you what, I don't know how but these senses and everyday life somehow always got catch me and get hold of me. I know they aren't truth but it seems just knowing is not enough at all. it is almost certainly clear to me now that all these mind things - fear, jealousy, anger, love, beauty.. all these are just temporary things. they aren't truth. one can change one's personality any time and can on and off any of them at will, only if one know that art. so such temporary things can't be truth. it is said that some are mind things and some are heart things. mind things are ones which we think and heart things are our feelings. but still ultimately they all originate from brain. they are not 'divine' characteristics i.e. characteristics of consciousness. but still i live in them almost all the time, gets completely lost in them, and, except times like now, treat them as complete truth. treating illusion as reality. perhaps that's why it is said by all the mystics down the ages - that we are 'asleep'. asleep because we can't see the falseness of all this illusion. we are fully engrossed in it.
But then, what is reality? What is truth?
certainly i don't know. but based on current scientific progresses it is confirm to me that whatever upto now we felt in our daily life, or whatever is told by religions, or by enlightened ones isn't TRUTH. either they are illusions (daily life) or they are ways to reach the truth. here i can realize the meaning of a sentence said by a zen master - 'finger pointing to the moon'. they are just showing us fingers. finger isn't moon itself. Sometimes Osho talks about sex and about how divine it is, and sometimes he himself criticizes it, calling it just a toy. and I think same is the case with what religions have taught down the ages about love towards god, devotion to god, praying, repenting, meditation. These are all ways to the truth. sometimes working sometimes not.
But then i was wondering how can all these ways work at all. Truth is one, so everything other than that must be illusion. look, love is illusion and i am living in illusion. so how can illusion work on illusion to create truth!

Anyway, it seems I have given a whole lecture. and that too unnecessarily. its of no use. I should come to the point worth pointing.
Buddha said I am pure awareness. who is the one sitting inside our head watching all the drama of thoughts and senses? who is that which you call 'I'? when i think about it i feel that it is not just all about the brain. brain is just processing incoming information. Who am I who is still experiencing or observing that processed information? Thus i am taking words of Buddha as granted, that 'I AM AWARENESS'. my real being is awareness. now according to quantum theory, a thing remains in its chaotic state as long as it is not observed by an observer. one can say that before an observer the thing was just not present at all, or the thing was everywhere. just nothing could be said said about it. but the moment observer came, it turned into something. so it is b'coz of the observer that the thing is present. Thus i can say that the observer is God since he is creating the object, or better say that he is giving it LIFE, intrinsic energy to exist. and perhaps that's why it is said in hindu scriptures that 'Tat twam asi'  - you are god, that god is inside you. because i am awareness i am observing things, thus they exist. i am creating the whole universe just by my presence. here i would like to add that although it is not said by science, i think that from its infinite possibilities the thing turns into one of them. but what determines in which one of them it will turn. i think it is determined by what kind of observer is observing it. so it is all observer's choice. he will see whatever he wants to see. so its again the same problem i discussed in my previous post, that there is no way for you to know how the other feels. its because he sees the universe in a different way than you. his whole universe is different from you. the similarities, like same newton's laws for both, arises because of similar evolution. if you have enough will you can change a rabbit into a duck :-P...and perhaps that's why they say that 'you are bounded. free yourself.' how are we bounded? we are bounded by our mind's conditioning, our hardwired prejudices of seeing things only in one way. perhaps through enlightenment we become free even from this bondage. i can't even visualize that!
Another thing i found was the answer to one of my questions i asked in previous post - why only we, the humans, can get enlightened? and the answer, i suspect, is BRAIN. A neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran in his book -'The tell-tale brain' showed that our brain creates an illusion of self. I am referring to a scientist because 'when a scientist proves it, it becomes a fact'. otherwise mystics have always said that the self, the ego is just an illusion...perhaps the biggest. thus our brain creates a false 'I' for us which we think is the true 'I'. now this creates a contrast...a contrast between true 'I' & false 'I'. although i am pure awareness, but I don't know that i am pure awareness. Osho explained it this way - that a fish can never know about the existence of water and that it is living in water, just because it has never known anything other than water. there is no contrast, nothing to compare with. but once you bring it out of the water then it will know about the existence and the importance of water. Thus our brain creates a contrast. although i am awareness, i can know it only when there is something i can compare it with i.e. a false awareness which the brain creates. No other thing in our universe, no other animal has this false sense of self. thus they can never know about the true one either. but we humans have. thus half job is done. by nature. But what about the other half. nature created a false self for us. but now we are so fully engrossed in it that take it for true. that's the whole effort of religions and enlightened ones, to make us aware of the true self.

So these are the two things i wants to add to my universe theory:
1. we are God. we create our own universe.
2. it is our brain that makes us special and puts us at the top of evolutionary table.

                                                  (best pic i could ever get! :-D)

Circle Of Life

It seems my days of "despondency & despair" are over. it also seems that its all controlled by mind and time. sometimes we are above our senses and feels like masters of senses, and sometimes we are below our senses and feels like slaves of senses. the former results in "good times" of our life and latter - "bad times" of our life. also called ups and downs. in bad times, when senses are above us, we (I) think that something is wrong outside or of our inabilities. but its all an interplay of mind and time. we can't do anything. it happens by itself. atleast in my case its all happening by itself.
in my "bad times" i kept on blaming either myself or my surrounding for the bad that was happening and kept on trying and trying and efforting, but in vain. it continued for almost 2 years. and now, since last few weeks, everything is looking fine. same surroundings, same my abilities but everything seems to have become OK by itself. and i am feeling happy and joyous again although i did nothing.


Perhaps we go on moving and running in these ups and downs all our life. it certainly seems better to remain stable rather than moving like a pendulum, if the resultant is same. only if we could achieve that stability.

Origin Of Universe - Update

After much time i am coming back to write blog. much has happened but i didn't write b'coz it wasn't mine. all i was doing was reading others, or trying to apply what they say. but today, out of the blues, something happened, although i didn't make any effort to produce it. i was going for college as it was my last exam. and suddenly that same old, perhaps my oldest, question again came in my mind. how did the universe began? what is its purpose? and like some magic all the links started joining together. i wasn't thinking hard to join them. they just happened themselves while i watched. so thats how they have arranged:

I am very much amazed by quantum theory. its results are absolutely bizarre. they show no logic. no distinction of past and present. i am going to use three of its properties:
1. Uncertainty principle: uncertainty is in the very root of nature. one of its fundamental truths. nothing is certain. its all about probability. here i would like to add that even the second law of thermodynamics - the law which is said to have never been broken and is basis of many other great theories, the law of entropy. that things always happens in order to increase their entropy, their chaos. even this law is basically based on probability. its like this - suppose a glass dish falls on the floor. it breaks into pieces. now you again lift those pieces and leave them again. now there is much more probability that they will break in more pieces than they make the dish again.

2. quantum theory says that although every event in actual happens in every possible way it can happen, but changes into one of them when observed by some observer. so the observer sees only one happening. Thus there are no fixed laws of physics in actual, but are present only, and always, for the observer.

3. Feynman's sum over history: it says that each particle in present is the sum of all events that have happened to it in history. thus each particle contains in itself all happenings related to it starting from origin of universe.

so here is my theory: things originated out of uncertainty (if there was an origin at all) and still everything happens because of uncertainty. The root cause and the driving energy is uncertainty. so it can be said, according to this theory, that God = Uncertainty. Now, Although each possible event happens in every possible way, irrespective of laws of physics, but we see only one of them according to which our body and mind has evolved. Other events happen in something like other universes for us.
let me explain this more clearly:

laws of physics always move forward. they are not constant. every moment comes with new laws. but the previous ones also remains, perhaps in our mind. that's why newton's laws are not violated. i wanna say that let us assume that after the very first uncertainty, 100 new events  originated(in actual they were infinite). out of them one was, say, 13th. from that 13th 100 new events originated and among them one was 13th. in this way these 13ths kept on going. and lets suppose that we humans have evolved from this series of 13th events, and our laws are the laws made acc. to this series. so we humans can see only these laws. Now, these laws have evolved too with us. from the first 13th event some laws were made. in the next 13th, some more subtler other laws were made, but previous ones remained too. and both new & old laws are related in some deep intrinsic manner, perhaps like an ideal father to son hierarchy. thus this went on. so today, we see that old newton's laws are not today broken, because they must be formed in some earlier time. but still new laws are being formed with each moment, with every event. And perhaps that's why it remains both a philosophical and scientific problem that for one there is absolutely no way to know how other feels. there is absolutely no way to prove that my red is same as your red (color). this may support my doubt that older laws resides in our mind and new laws are also made in our mind. the older the law the more crude similarity we can feel with objects evolved only upto that law. the evolution theory is also there you see. the stone represents a certain stage of events. its laws are more primitive than ours. some stones remained as such while the other evolved, say, into life (according to chance or uncertainty). now its not that the stone lying on the road hasn't evolved ever. it has and it is, but we see its only that form which matches with us i.e. its stone form. out of 100 of its new forms we see that which remains as such i.e. 0 change one. now we can say that we can understand a stone more easily than, say, a chimpanzee which, in turn, is easier to understand than a fellow human. that's evolution. things are becoming more subtler and more complex. its all just like the biological theory of evolution.

The Enlightened ones say that consciousness (soul) is sarwavyapi, it exists in all the srishti , cosmos. Through their saying it looks like consciousness is not bounded by any one particular set of laws of this universe or that. it is beyond them. it is in all of them. now i am postulating that this soul is nothing but feynman's sum over history. also it is said that every particle has a soul too. i am saying that that the particle, at present, is nothing but the manifestation of all its previous history, which it is, actually. Thus the presence of all its history and all its possible histories, which in total is history of universe, is the soul, and the current manifestation of its soul is the body. i am adding possible histories because they too were actualized, but its just that we can't see them. it is just that we see it as it is currently but somehow it is all. this is the eternal consciousness that mystics talk about.
Now i don't know why only we, the humans, are able to aware of that consciousness in this life and not anything else. what is that in us that gives us ability to comprehend this ultimate truth. is this mind?
When Buddha was asked who he is, he said i am pure awareness. (i am assuming that consciousness=awareness=soul). that means the one who is experiencing all this truth is consciousness itself. thus its not an effort of body, but of soul to know itself. and the joy followed by realization is also its. this the consciousness is the real being, not the body. the body is just an illusion, maya as the hindus say. but acc. to my theory it is not an illusion but a manifestation. but these two terms are not different but the same. they say soul is real and body is illusion. my theory too say that soul is the real being. the body doesn't has any independent existence, but it is soul itself..just its current form or culmination of all forms. they say that soul keeps changing body like clothes. today this, tomorrow that. i.e. life & death & reincarnation. it can be explained by evolution. the particle goes on evolving. its laws go on changing. in this body it has this set of laws. after some evolution, it has some other laws...and this change manifests itself in the form of body change.
but i still don't understand why or how enlightenment happens because after that there is no rebirth. it can be understood as the ultimate end of evolution. that looks logical, but what about that enlightenment which happened with the disciples of buddha who were just sitting nearby buddha and watching his death, became enlightened.

this world originated out of chaos and is now trying to get back to that same state, of oneness. when a man becomes a Buddha, he becomes one with cosmos. that's the whole purpose of universe, that's its evolution..to make everything one. maybe that's what hindus call eternal cycle of creation and destruction of universe. somehow it keeps on going through this chaos, then evolution to oneness and then again chaos.

Now the problems:
one is certainly that sudden enlightenment. is it some kind of quantum fluctuation. but then it is totally probabilistic. there should be no way to it. then which ways do all the buddhas talk about!

well certainly it all can't be that simple. i surely must be wrong. But these thoughts came in my mind so i wrote 'em down. and now am elaborating them a bit so that if somebody ever read it he can understand it.

there is still much to say about it but it seems i have already written much more than i initially intended to.

Finally The Life Mystery Solved

Finally, the mystery is solved. atleast from my part. the life mystery. the answer  to one of my greatest questions: what is life?
and here is the answer: LIFE IS LIVING.
yeah. the simplest possible one. having searched science, spirituality, religions, films, novels, songs and god knows what what, i came to this conclusion - that life is all about living. after all, we are no special beings to have a different kind of purpose. we too are just the same as everything else out there in the universe. the atoms assembled and we are made. ofcourse there are laws defining how and why. but when it comes to life question, its a verb called living. yes, we are doing something - living. just as electrons are revolving, planets are orbiting, we are living. should it mean anything more. i have come to find that it shouldn't. it is through this answer that science meet spirituality, a thing i believed since the starting, that these must meet. science and spirituality are two greatest efforts of mankind that search truth in its exact form. and they must be same if the truth is same. here, in my conclusion, both are satisfied. and i am happy finally.
i am in no mood to explain how both are satisfied. just wanted to write my final conclusion.
and ofcourse, living can be of any type. happy, sad, messy, love, painful or any other type. these are also truths of living. can't be discarded. but the main point is: who told you sad living is wrong, painful living is wrong, messy living is wrong. the bad feeling is only in our thinking. we think, we think that hey! i have always failed in life, its wrong. this is the approach we have made. its true that you have failed. but it is not true that failure is wrong. its just another form of living. and you are living it. this the the best thing. only living is the truth. and if you are doing so, in any way, it is the best thing you can do.
i should share it with you. today, i was watching the movie AMELIE. there was a man in it - a failed writer. yes, he had failed. but he was still happy in the end. he lived that failure in a very beautiful way. he never saw it as a wrong thing, but a way of life. and see the result - he was happy. happiness will automatically come if you see this truth. its not that you need  to live happily; but happiness will come itself. buddha has very beautifully said: " there is no way to happiness; happiness is the way". you live any way, happiness will itself come.
thats what i have found. life is living. only and only. no more, no less. this is my final theory about life. and i am so happy that i have finally discovered one of my biggest questions.

now all i need to concentrate on is to live my thoughts. implement them in my practical life. its a  hard task. i always find it hard to implement them in real life.

UPDATE (23-10-2012): Don't listen to it! It was perhaps just result of my frustration of being unable to understand life!

Origin Of Universe - going back in time

My earlier childish theory about the origin and fate of universe is coming back to me again.
It all started in 2008 when i was in 11th class. a newly young curious mind, unable to swallow the happenings of the world as they are, started making its own theories about the universe (which later diverted to finding secrets of mind and life). Of course the first question that it faced was, famous, how the universe originated. while i was busy trying to solve it (although knowing nothing about it), a news came on TV that a time machine is about to be made. this immediately diverted my mind to that. how can a time machine be made? how can the future be predetermined? luckily, i had seen a program on history channel that was showing Einstein and his theories. from there i got to know that universe is made up of space-time fiber and mass distorts this fiber. time! so time is there, my mind started thinking. time, along with space, make up the basic structure of universe. so if the future is predetermined, which the scientists on TV were saying so confidently, it must be because this time in fiber runs in a predetermined way. why?  then the idea stuck! maybe because it wants to remove that distortion. everything wants to come in its previous state when distorted. it must too.
that was the main idea that i want to discuss today - minimization of distortion. but let me first complete that theory of mine. then, in the same program i had seen the equation, that wonderful equation: E=Mc². so, mass can be converted into energy, i thought. and energy do not distort space-time. so the tendency of the whole space-time fiber should be to convert all the mass into energy. to remove its distortion. so this the theory i made - all happenings of the universe are nothing but its way to convert its whole mass into energy, in the most easiest way.

now, after 4 years and having read much about this universe, this mind, and about spirituality, i think i am again coming to the same answer, same theory of mine, when i think about the origin and fate of universe.
here is what i think now-a-days: universe is borne out of a distortion, a distortion in its perfect state. and what caused that distortion might be called as the god, the evil, or whatever. but it was a distortion, a disbalance, a discontinuity somewhere for an instant that led to whole of this. and the universe is struggling to get back to its previous state. and all that is happening, the laws of physics or the laws of spirituality, all are the result of this very struggle. all these laws are to remove the discontinuity, or the effects of that discontinuity.
how? i don't know. but i think spirituality is involved in all this. what we call enlightenment might be the answer. they say that after enlightenment, one goes beyond this space-time. that means a part of universe is lost. may be in this way, small by small, everything will go out of this universe, and THEN universe will be back to initial, perfect state. everything that is happened and is happening- the big bang, the making of atoms, of our solar system, the origination of life, the evolution, the making of humans, humans getting power of consciousness, and their ability to get enlightened, all this is systematic and predetermined. its not only humans; life might be at other places too.
yes, it looks idiotic. but i have a small proof too. Buddha, and almost all enlightened ones, after getting enlightened, saw the truth of this. and thats why he wanted, he desired all others to get enlightened too. why he saw this world as suffering? its because he could see how this world is imperfect. and the only way to get it perfect is enlightenment.
you might say that how one can gets out of this universe on enlightenment whereas his body is still there and remains there even after his death. but its not that way. this world is a maya. its a virtual world. even buddha said that. it looks like real and physical but in actual, its all about soul, consciousness, I.
you might say why then enlightenment not come to everybody. It do. it do come to everybody. Osho said that it can wait, it can wait upto infinity. Jiddu Krishnamurti said that truth is a pathless land. you can't go to it, it will come to you. but at the same time Osho said it doesn't come to everyone. you have to be a seeker, you have to do effort for it to come. If not in this birth, in some other birth.

I don't know how much i am right or wrong. i must be wrong. i just wanted to share this fact that what i used to think long ago, when everything was new and unknown, is coming again to me. i find it amazing!

Resistance Is In The Very Nature Of Life

Now-a-days I am reading more about Osho & Jiddu Krishnamurti, thanks to my friend Ashish Goswami. They are known to be enlightened ones and they all say same thing, but in different ways, depending on their past history. I particularly like krishnamurti, because he talks straight. everything as straight and frank as possible. Tell you what, they say true things. I admit that i had to agree almost everything they said. Basically what they say is - the truth is that everything just is; and the cause of all suffering is either our ignorance about it or our resistance and effort not to accept it.
But i don't  want to talk much about what they said in detail. What i want to share is my doubts about their theory. There are many. No, none in their sayings and talks but outside that.

What is life, again? but this time scientifically. As we know, everything happening out there in universe, from a small chemical reaction to the nuclear fusion in stars, is because of the very tendency of everything to become stable, to decrease its energy somehow. We know physics laws explain what happens, but why that happens? the answer of why is this. to decrease energy, to be stable. Now life. In my biology textbook it said life is nothing but a constant struggle of an entity to not enter into a stable, less energy state. I mean its against the very general law of whole else universe. In this way life is extraordinary. It always wants to escape from being stable. we all are just result of this very nature of life.

But isn't it resistance... escape from what is? effort to not be what is? Resistance is in the very nature of life. its a fact, isn't it? So is this whole life suffering? Not only humans but the whole living...animals, trees, bacteria...every DNA & RNA. They say our mind, our memory, the neurons in our brain are the real evil. It works based on the past, not the present. But the DNA too is a storing element. It too should be evil. So the whole life is nothing but suffering. Only the non-living things accept what is. Only after death one can get freedom. This is my first doubt - it it true?

There is another doubt. They say that one can be free only after the understanding, the awareness of the truth - the acceptance of what is. They say that there should be no beliefs, no desires, no effort to change what is. But then how is all gonna work? There is Aeroplane only because there was a desire to fly. We will eventually go into the stone age. And even there its not gonna stop. Desires are there too. In the end, we have to transform into non-livings. I think there cannot be a society according to what they say. And thats the problem, a practical limitation.

The Universal Constant that never was

In recent days, my thinking about this world has changed upside-down-to up again. a lot is happening. a lot.  The Buddha → None → Richard Dawkins → The Truth → The Buddha Again → The lake (today).

           "In a tiny particle there exists an entire universe". exactly the same happened to me today. i was sitting by the lake in our college all alone (its an irony that students keeps on wandering here & there for a nice place to sit, but only a very few know about this lake). yes it always feels nice to sit on such a place alone, but i was searching for something else. the missing links between the buddha, richard dawkins, & the truth. somehow they all were contradicting each other at some points although looking perfect at their own place. ducks swimming on the rippling surface of water, creating more ripples. AND SUDDENLY...what? an IDEA stuck. at that precise moment...so precise that i could only feel that it happened. THIS LAKE IS THE UNIVERSE!. i starting seeing that lake like a whole universe, like a metaphor. life living in this lake like life in universe, or on earth. firstly i compared buddha's three truths; fitted perfectly. then i considered richard dawkins; fitted even more easily...like there was no problem at all. like only i was making it complex in my mind, like how can it be so simple!, like why didn't i thought of that earlier.
            our universe is just like this lake. i am not going to discuss now how it (lake) was created...will take it some other time. abided by some physics laws, water moves, creates ripples i.e. keeps changing, in position here. slowly life started originating in it...then evolution...algae, fishes, ducks...reproducing before dying to keep life going. they die, turn into soil, nurishes algae...and somehow keeps this cycle going. look everything is changing, but nothing is destroyed. it just changes shape. particles are same. and everything is bounded together by the law of cause & effect. so buddha is there. and no problem with richard either.
           now let me talk about life a little more here. EVERYTHING MATTERS, and still NOTHING MATTERS.  everything matters in the sense of law of cause and effect. your slightest of action WILL change each and everything of this entire universe, in some way. BUT, universe as a whole remains the same. it just doesn't matter at all what you do, universe as a whole will still remain there, in the same manner, same laws. you do a cause, it has an effect and that's it! i know its a bit difficult to explain it but...i am viewing it that way. we are just mere beings in this vast universe of vast variety and complexity. we just stand nowhere. one day we will die, our particles will make up something else, soul something else, according to buddha's law of change. basically we will remain forever there in this universe in the form of the effects we made by our actions or causes, which (the effects) in turn lead to other's actions...and it goes on and on. but have u seen? even our actions/causes were also due to the effects of some other's causes. we are no independent causers. u have to understand it. we are just a mere mere part of this never ending cycle. of  cause and effect. causes make effects. effects make causes. everything is changing but nothing dies. THESE ARE BUDDHA'S THREE TRUTHS.
            now i would like to come on ENLIGHTENMENT. what basically enlightenment is? it is the realization of truth. realization, not knowing. what it does? it escapes a man from this cycle of cause and effect. although i still have some doubts in it, but we can look it in this way very easily. suppose a duck from lake came to know the truth about lake (either through science or through introspection/meditation (which is much easier)). so now it has got the power of coming out of the lake and escape from its cycle of cause and effect. so an element of that lake has escaped forever. not destroyed, but now i will never be subjected to its cause or effect. (here i must mention that i still can understand why? why buddha saw this cycle of cause and effect as suffering? why one ever need to get out of it? why it should be his purpose of life? one by one everything will escape and universe will turn into nothingness. the whole play will end!) .
now problems - i don't exactly know what happens at enlightenment. do all the effect he made throughout his life/cycle are destroyed. but this can't be possible. and do , and if yes, why do enlightenment can happen only by humans? why are we so-so special? 'coz being enlightened can considered as probably the biggest possible event.

there are many more thing i still can and want to say, but you can figure out them yourself...just go to a lake one day :)

Decoding Life - now the game begins

since i have watched this video, 4-5 days back, it seems my consciousness, my boundary of thinking has reached to a new level. it seems like now i can think beyond the earlier limit of thinking. it actually happens. and in my case it always happens in a discrete manner. normally people acquire this over a period of time, they grow wiser gradually without knowing. but in my case, i am actually aware that i am growing wiser now...i can actually feel that moment. its an amazing thing, and i like this property of mine.
              now let me share with you what i am feeling and thinking now-a-days. it would had been a different   post had i not watched this video. this introduced science in my thinking...again, and this time in a bigger and better way. who are we? we are humans. what are we composed of? atoms. that means the purpose of existence of that single atom should also the purpose of every else thing, including us. but its a deeper thing, much deeper. i can't think of, can't even imagine what can be the purpose of existence of an atom. so let me raise the level. lets talk about life. through darwin's theory of evolution and natural selection it is clear that we are made out of some initial single cell organisms. let me call them as initial life. what was their purpose, in that lifeless world? to sustain their existence, anyhow. and with the limits of practical world, they couldn't achieve immortality. so what remained? reproduction. making one's own copy. how simple! and as we have ascended from there, this should, no must, be ours purpose also. reproduction. producing similar beings for immortality, of oneself, of life. we are no special beings that nature has selected a different purpose for us only. its just our consciousness that has produced such ideas of different purposes. isn't it?
                 now let me go a little more to roots. what actually life's intention was? it was the maintenance of existence, not reproduction straightforward. maybe thats why life makes evolution. to cope with unfavorable conditions. and with the course of time it made us. gave us consciousness. maybe so that we can go to live on some other planet in case there is threat on whole earth! it seems silly...but who knows, nature knows everything.
                 now the problems i am facing with this theory. right now it is mainly-what is enlightment then? i pretty firmly believe buddha. how he got to know all the truths of this universe at that moment of enlightment. what was that? i still am unable to find a way out.

Decoding Life

What is life?

look, there are many many answers for this simple three word question. everybody has his own point of view. ofcourse i have mine, too. But this can't be true, how can it be? it should has only one answer...some says life is just how you live it, doesn't matter how. yes this can be true, & i AM searching for such a universal kind of answer, that cover every fact, every answer. and what pulls me closer to this particular answer is this: look, everybody dies. those who did great, inspiring works also, and those who did nothing in their life also. the end result seems to be same for all. so if you are searching for HOW TO LIVE type of question, then this point of view sincerely suggests you to stop searching. any way will do the job.

                  but now comes in my mind the Buddha picture. he so simply explained the law of cause and effect. and as a science student, who is a fan of Einstein, i can imagine his talks with space & time. every cause we do, it has an effect. it changes the space-time fibre which in turn brings change in the whole universe, including the causer also. this change is governed by some  physics laws. and that's all. many quotes and sayings are covered by this theory. this is also the law of karma. now i comes to our own world.what ours say...good doings will have good results, and bad doings will have bad results. tell you what, i personally have come across this fact more no. of times than any other fact: 'there is no good or bad'. causes are just causes, who the hell are we to classify them. nature know no such classification. its a mere case of chance that we live in this world where such and such acts are considered as good, and such and such as bad. in some other world, this standardisation might be something else...maybe there killing people might be considered as good. its just for the economy and creation of stable society that such classification of good and bad is made. at the universal level it doesn't exist. and not only ours the humans, every other thing such as animals, atoms, electrons, waves, energy, thoughts...everything should have this cause and effect. with this same space & time.

                  to be continued...